Frequently Asked Questions

What is family law mediation?       

Mediation allows couples to resolve all issues that a family faces in a separation or divorce. In contrast to hiring lawyers who speak or even do battle for each partner, mediation offers the opportunity for direct communication and shared work in creating a solution that best fits your individual needs.  Mediation works equally well for traditional families and domestic partners, for those who are encountering post-divorce difficulties, or those wishing to negotiate a pre-marital or post-divorce agreement.

What is the role of the mediator?   

 Jane facilitates direct and open discussion about the issues you face.  She is neutral and will not take either party’s side.  She encourages productive consideration of all relevant matters, both legal and practical , allowing you to create your own solutions.  After you reach a comprehensive agreement, its terms are written in a legally binding contract that determines the areas of dispute that you might otherwise have argued about in court.  Because Jane is an attorney-mediator, she can write your agreement for you in the proper form.

Do I need to hire a lawyer if I mediate?       

 Jane recommends that you each of you consult with an independent attorney of your own selection before you sign any agreement.  Although  Jane is a lawyer, she functions as a neutral mediator for both of you and thus cannot give either of you individualized legal advice.  New York law creates important family rights and obligations.  Each of you should review the these with your separate attorney in order to make sure that your agreement reflects your intentions. You may also choose to consult separate lawyers before starting the mediation process, or retain a lawyer during mediation to advise you between sessions.  In mediation, the choice is yours.

Is mediation the same as arbitration?

No.  An arbitrator listens to testimony, reviews evidence offered by both sides and then makes a decision, much as a judge decides cases in a courtrooms.  In mediation, you and your partner, guided by Jane, discuss your concerns and your options and then decide whether to agree.  Unlike a judge or an arbitrator, Jane will not impose any particular resolution on you.

How long does mediation take?

The length of mediation depends upon you.  Some couples have already worked out most of their issues and need only a little fine-tuning.  Others may not have resolved much on their own, but find that they have similar views about what will be best for their family.  Still others may realize that they are not ready for mediation and may need to put their conversation on hold for some period of time before returning.  Couples who are ready to work together can usually create their own solution after four to twelve hours of mediation.  Mediation sessions are 1 to 2 hours in length.

How much does mediation cost?    

Jane charges an hourly fee for time spent in mediation sessions and for preparation of a summary of open issues that will help you prepare for the next session.  She charges a flat fee for drafting your agreement.   Call to ask her for her current fee schedule.  At present, depending on the length and number of mediation sessions, an average couple might spend from $3,000 to $8,500.

Mediation sounds expensive.  How much does it cost to hire lawyers?

Many New York City divorce attorneys charge initial retainer payments of $5,000, $10,000, $25,000, or upwards, with hourly legal fees generally ranging from $250 to $600 or more.  According to this method of payment, you may be required to replenish the retainer fund from time to time.  These amounts are doubled when attorneys for both parties are hired.

In mediation, you pay your fees as you go.  There is no duplication of payments unless you or your partner has hired a lawyer to counsel you during the mediation process.  If you don’t like the way mediation is going, you can walk away at any time, or take a “time out” without incurring additional expense. 

What other expenses can I expect in mediation?

Jane may suggest, for example, that you have a home, or a business, or a professional license appraised.  She may encourage you to consult with a financial planner, a tax expert, or a child psychologist to help you address unresolved issues.   In mediation, you control whether to hire any professional.. 

How can mediation work if I can’t talk to my partner about anything?

Before mediation, people often feel stuck in a vicious circle of conflict.  The fact that you and your partner have been unable to resolve your issues at home or in counseling, does not mean that you cannot create your own mediated solution. 

Jane is well-versed about the dynamics of family conflict and fully understands the laws of New York that apply to your situation.  She will facilitate your conversations, keeping them on a productive, focused path, and may even identify options you not have considered.  With her creative approach to problem-solving, and her help in your communications with one another, you may be surprised at how often a growing mutual understanding can help transform a vicious circle into a path toward amicable accord.

One word of caution:  Jane does not generally recommend mediation for families where ongoing domestic violence is present or where one of you is afraid of the other.  Effective mediation requires that both of you feel safe enough to express your needs openly and that you can each feel empowered to find your own solution without fear of violence.

Why should we choose Jane Freidson as our mediator?          

Based on Jane’s 30 years’ experience as a New York City trial lawyer, and her particular expertise in helping negotiate child-centered parenting arrangements, she can help you work together to attain a “good divorce,” a result that is rarely achieved through litigation.  Jane is committed to reducing rancor and bitterness and to promoting your honest debate and resolution, leading to a result that allows both of you to rebuild your lives and continue to cooperatively parent your children into adulthood.

What if we can’t mediate?

If you know you do not want to try mediation, you may retain Jane to represent you in virtually any kind of family law issue in New York.  Jane remains an active litigator, regularly appearing in New York courts to advocate for her clients’ interests in everything from paternity, to family offense cases, child support, child custody, divorce and post-judgment cases.  She is a skilled negotiator for anyone who needs  an attorney to negotiate a settlement.  She is also available to review an agreement you may have mediated elsewhere.    If you have already started mediation with Jane, however, and are unable to continue, you will be unable to retain Jane as your lawyer because she cannot switch from being neutral to being an advocate for one side against the other.